Already on its way to cancellation?

NBC’s  David and Goliath-themed new show “Kings” debuted last night to a meager 6 million average over the two-hour premiere. I’m surprised at how low the ratings were — the promos appeared promising, and the conceit of a modern day monarchy is more original than most other broadcast shows. Maybe the show will steadily gain a following, but with such high-production value (and thus cost) it seems unlikely that the show will make it to a second season.

Reviews for the allegorical series were more promising, garnering decidely high marks for star Ian Mcshane (“Deadwood”). Could the star get an Emmy nom even if the show itself doesn’t take off? Personally, I found the plot to be scatterbrained and unfocused. The story is highly confusing and could use a bit of exposition, as well as more character development. The aesthetics, however, were cinematic, and many of the stunning shots made the commercial breaks worth the wait. The premiere tried to throw in a cacophony of plot twists (political heir is gay! king has a bastard child!), but if the series settles on a few key plotlines a strong narrative could emerge. I think by episode three it’ll be clear if the show is all concept and no delivery.

John Stewart took CNBC’s Jim Kramer to task last week, berating him for promoting companies like Bear Stearns even as they were on the brink of destruction. Was Stewart too harsh, or did Kramer deserve the rhetorical lashing? You Decide.

Personally, I think Stewart wins this round. It is Kramer’s job to get the financial news right, and in such dire times, there is truly not room for “business as entertainment.”

No commentary necessary.

A lot cooler than it sounds.

“True Blood” is awesome. Think civil rights movement transposed onto a race of recently emerged vampires. Think deep south Bayou prejudice with a Dracula twist. ”True Blood” is camp mixed with thriller, lots of sex with that girl from “The Piano” thrown in (Anna Paquin, looking much hotter than a few years ago in ”X-Men”). HBO is so confident about the show and its progression that it has already renewed the series for a second season, citing a 24% increase in viewership for the second episode. While I probably didn’t do the show justice by explaining it, just tune in. You’ll understand later. Check the trailer out below.

Hot mama.

Senator John McCain pulled a doozy today, choosing Alaska governor Sarah Palin to be his Vice Presidential nominee. She was elected in 2006 and currently has the highest approval rating (80%) of any governor in the United States. Before her governorship, Palin was mayor of her hometown, Wasilla (population: next to nothing). She has been known as an aggressive reformer, passing through large ethics bills and going after corruption, even within her own party.

Palin is also a staunch conservative. She is against abortion rights and gay marriage, and in opposition to McCain’s position, supports drilling for oil in the Alaskan Wildlife Reserve. She’s an NRA member and her favorite meal is moose stew. Get the picture?

Palin’s parents both worked in the local elementary school. She attended the University of Idaho (what pedigree…) and majored in journalism. Her husband Todd, who she met in high school, is a production operator on the north slope for BP. They have five children, named Bristol, Piper, Track, Willow, and Trig. Track joined the army a year ago and is being deployed on September 11th. Their youngest son, Trig, was born this year and has been diagnosed with Downs Syndrome.

What do you guys think of this choice? It seems extremely risky but could potentially be a game-changer for the McCain camp. He effectively wiped out media coverage of Obama’s breathtaking convention speech last night, and played a card that many in the media admitted they did not forsee. It seems as if many of the all-important swing voters, especially “security moms,” married women, and former Clintonites, could identify with Palin’s story and background. Despite her non-alliance with many issues of specific importance to women, the historic nature of her candidacy may draw many Hillary fans to the red side. Palin’s conservative credentials will undoubtedly reassure many in the conservative base who were concerned about McCain’s centrist leanings. Most importantly, Palin could readjust the media coverage spotlight back onto the Republicans after the protracted Democratic primary dominated the news for the past 8 months.

On the other hand, Palin could prove disastrous (see Geraldine Ferraro and Dan Quayle for evidence). She is extremely inexperienced, making Obama look like Ted Kennedy. Two year ago she was mayor of bum-fuck nowhere having to contend with the great problems of the world like which roads should be paved. Could this woman seriously be president if McCain kicked the bucket — which is more than a passing concern at his age of 72 (happy b-day, big guy). And what the hell does Palin know about national security or the wars abroad? I can’t imagine her holding a candle to Joe Biden in a debate. Lets be honest, she’s going to get eaten alive.

At the same time, it would be unwise of Team Obama to underestimate Palin. She has proven as Governor that she does not shy away from big wigs or old-line establishment. She seems unfazed by power. She also strongly reinforces McCain’s maverick image, and plays into the idea that a McCain presidency would shake up Washington

It all comes down to Palin’s performance. Her speech today in Dayton, Ohio was gracious and folksy, if not a little under-prepared and awkward. If she can compete as a debater and reach those swing voters, McCain could have just made a complete game-changer. If she sinks under the pressure, his candidacy could sink as fast as Nancy Pelosi’s face when the Botox wears off. Only time will tell.

Almost as bad as secretly watching Fox News.

Dear Educated Upper-Middle Class White People,

I have a serious admission to make. I tell you this truth with great humility and embarrassment. As a media blogger and University student, I am shamed to admit that prior to last night I had never seen a full episode of “The Office.” I’d caught bits and pieces here and there, a Carrell one-liner here, a Pam joke here. I coasted by reading online commentators or slyly reading posted “Office” quotes on Facebook profiles. I mustered the faux-laugh when one of my enlightened peers made passing references. I was a entertainment fraud, a Making my lack of “Office” awareness even worse is that for the past two summers I have interned at NBC, the very home of the multiple Emmy winning show. Yes, it is true.

To repent for my sins, I used my well-deserved summer break time to drive myself to a Best Buy in an awful strip mall. I’m not talking about one of those newfangled hip strip malls with the fake nice restaurants and Pottery Barn. I’m talking about an unadulterated strip mall. Payless Megastore and all. Despite the beautiful weather and my extreme laziness, I propelled myself to the Best Buy in order to address my glaring lack of “Office” knowledge. No Geek Squad, I don’t want to “check out the latest Best Buy support services.” No, I won’t have a good day.

 Anyways, I located the TV on DVD section and promptly found “The Office Season 1.” Only 5 episodes? Seriously? What a let-down. Bulked up compilations of Season 1 and 2 were also there, but I thought I might be prudent and see if I liked the first season before getting the rest. Sort of a test drive.

That night I popped in the DVD and watched all 5 in a row, back to back (which isn’t that impressive considering each episode is only 22 minutes and I fast forwarded through the open and credits…). I have to say, I was wrong. I was stupid and ignorant and I apologize. “The Office” is an excellent show, better than almost everything on TV. I know, the British original series is supposed to be better blah blah I get it. But I’m still learning. My favorite episode was “Diversity Day,” and my favorite scene was a toss up between Michael telling Carlos that he only wants to use him for boxing or baseball and the scenes of Jim taping Dwight into a box.

In any case, I hope you all take the below “Office” highlight videos as a token of my apology. I promise to not let you down so badly in the future. I also vow to tune in September 25th to the new one hour Season 4 premiere. But I’m sure you already knew that.

Sincerely,

Megargel

P.S. – For the record, I’m currently catching up on another series I’ve never seen before, “Heroes” (Yes, another NBC show. I’m a bad intern). But that doesn’t count because only season 1 of “Heroes” was good, right? I’ll post some Hayden Panettierre pictures later to make up for it.

Best of Dwight and Jim Season 1 and 2

Best of “The Office” Season 1 and 2

Sneak Peak Season 4

Happy Birthday, Madonna. Keep grinding like a slutty 8th grader.

• Madonna turns 50 today. Woop-te-doo, she’s in such great shape, what a role model for middle-aged women blah blah blah. When are they going to cryogenically freeze her? And at what point is she going to stop trying to prove that you can still be sexy at ____ age. Granted, she does look pretty smokin’ right now, minus her roided-up arms of course. But if she’s still writhing on cars at 80 (a la the “4 Minutes” video), will someone put her out of her misery? My bet is on Guy Ritchie pulling the trigger.
• P.S. – Did  you know that not only Madonna, but Prince and Michael Jackson are also turning 50 this year? The 80′s are officially AARP material.

RIP Isaac Hayes

 Isaac Hayes Passes Away: A Tribute

• In more sincere news: As I’m sure all you have heard, legendary soul singer Isaac Hayes passed away a week ago at the age of 65. Hayes was instrumental in forming the sound of Rnb and soul in the 1960′s and 70′s as both an in-house producer for Stax Records and a solo artist. He wrote and composed several classic hits, such as “Soul Man” for Sam and Dave and his Academy Award winning “Shaft” theme song. Hayes also released a string of his own popular, Grammy winning music, most notably the album “Black Moses” in 1971. Hayes revived his career in the 80′s with a string of supporting appearances in successful films, including “Escape from New York” and “Robin Hood: Men in Tights.” From 1997 through 2005, Hayes voiced the part of “Chef” on South Park. Below are several highlights from Hayes’ illustrious career. RIP to the original Soul Man.
• “Chocolate Salty Balls” audio – a classic for any “South Park” fan.
• Shaft Theme
•  ”Soul Man” by Sam and Dave
• “Walk on By” Live

Seth Rogen saving Franco from being in shitty movies.

He’s already won a Golden Globe for his portrayal of James Dean. He already is part of TV history as an ensemble player in the classic 1-year sitcom “Freaks and Geeks.” He’s even part of mammoth superhero franchise ”Spider Man,” one of the most bankable franchises in movie history. Now he has rebounded from a string of forgettable films (remember “Tristan and Isolde”? I didn’t think so) to star in two hot new films. The recent UCLA grad reinvigorated the stoner, drug dealer-trope in Judd Apatow’s hilarious “Pineapple Express” (don’t listen to rumors its too long or boring, its fucking funny). He’s the latest GQ coverboy. And he has a plum part in Gus Van Sant’s upcoming “Milk,” which also stars Sean Penn. The pedigree film, about the first openly gay elected American official, should attract serious Oscar buzz and land Franco back on the short list of many casting directors. As his Spicoli would say “Right on!”

To read GQ’s profile of Franco, click HERE.

Actress of the Week: Penelope Cruz

Smokin'

First thing’s first, Penelope Cruz is beautiful. Not just smutty “do-me-now,” Pamela Anderson hot, but genuinely beautiful, dream-wife material. To top off her ethereal good looks, she’s actively friends with Salma Hayek and Shakira, keeping up hope that out there somewhere is a grainy video of some triple-Latina action.

To match Cruz’s smoking body is an impressive body of work. This week, Penelope can be seen in both “Vicky Cristina Barcelona” (which I’ve already written about), and the critically acclaimed “Elegy.” In “Barcelona,” Cruz effortlessly moves between Spanish and English, between fiery passion and quiet introspection for a role that is already garnering Oscar buzz. In the brooding “Elegy,” Cruz goes toe to toe with acting heavyweight Ben Kingsley (“Ghandi”), playing the woman that might finally make the acommital Kingsley come to terms with his aging sexuality.

Cruz has slowly but surely built a reputable and well-reviewed career. Although never a box-office giant, she has had success in films such as modern classic “Blow,” the trippy “Vanilla Sky,” and her Oscar-nominated performance in “Volver.” Cruz’s streak will likely continue with her upcoming appearance in the highly-anticipated film adaptation of “Nine,” the long-running Broadway musical.

Check out Richard Schickel’s Time Magazine review of “Elegy” here.

And because I can, here are more photos of Penelope Cruz below. Unfortunately for me and the rest of the world’s male population, Cruz is already dating her “Cristina” co-star Javier Bardem.  Yeah, the weird-haircut serial killer in “No Country for Old Men.” Go figure.

why not?

In the last week of the unofficial summer movie season, “Tropic Thunder” finally ended “The Dark Knight’s” epic four week run atop the box office summit. “Thunder,” starring major players Jack Black, Robert Downey Jr., and Ben Stiller, managed to rake in $26 million over the three day weeked and $37.1 million since its Wednesday debut. In the process, the film ate up a significant portion of “Pineapple Express’s” young male audience, which dropped 57% to $10 million.

However, it should be noted that the numbers don’t stack in “Thunder’s” favor as they appear. Last week, “Pineapple Express” grossed a higher five day total of $41 million, and was made for only $27 million. The Seth Rogen / James Franco stoner-comedy will continue Judd Apatow’s streak of hits, having already grossed a very solid $62 million, and demonstrating steady grosses throughout the mid-week. The film will likely top out around $85 – $95 million, as well as do boffo-business on DVD.

“Tropic Thunder,” on the other hand, grossed $4 million less than “Express” in its first five days, and was made for a reported $92 million. This inflated budget and decreased returns could land “Tropic Thunder” in the red zone domestically, although the film will likely recoup its budget from DVD sales and foreign box office. Not all is lost for the controversial film, as it has a relatively uncompetitive market for the next several weeks and could benefit from favorable reviews and word-of-mouth.

Further down the list, “Star Wars: The Clone Wars” created a second sizeable zit on the near-unblemished record of the “Star Wars” franchise, the other being Jar Jar Binks’ character in his entirety. It seems the young male audience that “Clone Wars” attempted to atract were simply too distracted by other similarily targeted fare in the market. Regardless, the film should effectively introduce the Cartoon Network series of the same name that begins this fall.

“Mirrors” failed to make any considerable noise with an $11 million take, a number on the low end of most predictions. Surprisingly, Kiefer Sutherland has still not managed to capitalize on his enormous “24″ success on the big screen.  The new season of “24″ begins in January 2009 after a year-long wait due to the writer’s strike. A special 2-hour prequel of “24′s” new season is set for November.

On another note, who else is surprised by “Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2′s” relatively tepid response? The film declined 44% in its second week to about $6 million, and has grossed $32 million so far, just above its $27 million budget. Despite America Ferrera (“Ugly Betty”) and Blake Lively (“Gossip Girl”) becoming bonafied TV stars since the original, the sequel will only barely outgross the original’s $39 million. This response could be due to several factorsr, including the glut of female-oriented films this summer or possibly the extremely niche audience for such a young coming-of-age story? On the other hand, the first film had a similar budget and warranted a sequel, so “Pants 2″ will likely have cause for celebration with a total take of $45-50 million. DVD sales will likely be brisk as well. No harm done all around.

Finally, “Vicky Christina Barcelona” succeeded at 10th with a strong per-theatre average of over $5,000. The film has potential to match “Match Point’s” $23 million take, as well as rack up decent overseas numbers due to its foreign setting.

Just for the record (and what a record it is), here is Judd Apatow’s record as a writer/producer/director in order of box office performance domestically:

1. “Knocked Up” – $148.7 million (director)
2. “Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby” – $148.2 million
3. “Superbad” – $121 million
4.  ”The 40 Year Old Virgin” – $109 million (director)
5.  ”You Don’t Mess with the Zohan” – $99 million (he was a writer, and his influence is noticeable)
6. “Pineapple Express” – $62 million and counting (which is why I put it above…)
7. “Forgetting Sarah Marshall” – $62 million
8. “The Cable Guy” – $60 million
9. “Kicking and Screaming” – $52 million
10. “Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story” – $18 million (one of the very few mis-fires in Apatow’s career)

Note: I left out “Fun with Dick and Jane’s” $110 million because it didnt’ feel right putting it above “The 40 Year Old Virgin” in the Apatow canon. And in any case, he was only one of many writers and the movie sucked balls.

Team Billary has negotiated their way to getting Big Hill’s name placed in nomination at the Democratic National Convention in Denver. The convention will still elect Barack Obama as its nominee, but state delegates will now honor their commitment to Team Hill. The move is part of a grander effort to appease Clintonistas and increase party unity. Over the last several months the once fierce rivals have slowly become reluctant allies, kicking off with Senator Clinton’s concession speech and continuing with the overly-metaphorical joint rally at Unity, New Hampshire.

I don’t know how most people will take this decision, but to me it just seems like a “Participation Certificate,” a “thanks for coming” goodie bag. I’m far from a Hillary-hater, but isn’t a primetime speech on the second night (August 26th) enough of a concession to her historic campaign? I really don’t see how anyone who supported Clinton in the primary can legitimitely argue that McCain is a fitting replacement for Clinton. The two Senators are so fundamentally different in their policies that the assertion seems to be merely product of bitterness. Nevertheless, there are still a significant portion of Clinton fans who are adamant in their opposition to Obama, forcing the Junior Senator to continue to court those voters. In that vein, I’m sure there will be many Clinton maniacs who will appreciate Obama’s gesture.

What do you think? Is having Clinton’s name in nomination a major acknowledgement of her candidacy or just throwing her a bone? Does this upcoming convention seem too staged and theatrical, or do you think it will make for an inspiring show of unity? Leave your thoughts.

AND… because I’m still not over it: a year old Mad TV parody of Rihanna’s “Umbrella” with Obama/Clinton.